The Next to the Last Chapter

I fear I may have given an overly optimistic impression in my post of a week ago (Call it a Chanukkah Blessing). If so, I apologize. While what I said was true...Bettie was better. Perhaps I should have made it perfectly clear that she was only better than the previous week, not better as in all better, or in remission, or what ever other term one might use to explain a dramatic improvement.

Given the oncologists prognosis: "she has weeks" which was given just over six weeks ago, the "better" signs we saw last week did seem encouraging. After all, she was supposed to be...well, you know. In fact, in a phone conversation with the hospice nurse yesterday, she told me that Bettie would have died weeks ago, had it not been for the excellent care, love, and support she is getting here at home with family. She had especially high praise for our son Rick, who simply cannot do too much in his care of "Mom".

But the primary purpose of the nurse's call, was not about Bettie but about me. She wanted to make sure I understood how things were. I told her that I realized what is happening and that, baring a miracle, I expect Bettie probably won't make it through January. "That would be really good...if she could make it to January second or third" she said. "But I think that is pretty optimistic". That's when she told me that, but for the loving home care, she would not have made it this far.

As you can imagine, it was another one of those moments you don't forget, like The Day it Happened, or the call on the bus, or the oncologists prognosis. Maybe I have been in denial, at least about how much time we have, if not about the ultimate end. Well, as I said last week: "Unable to see the future as we are, we just take each day..." Since this is my first time at this, I"m in no position to judge the accuracy of the nurse's opinion. However, prudence suggests some more detailed planning is in order.

And so, dear readers, we seem to be approaching the end of Bettie's Challenge. How I wish it wasn't so. I suppose I could go back to daily or even twice daily posts, as I did in the beginning. I could describe each step down into this valley..but there is no honor nor dignity in that. Baring something dramatic, the next post will be titled: "The Last Chapter", and you know what that will say. It will have a version number after the title. I will update that post with details, as I know them, that those of you wishing to honor Bettie at a memorial service will need.

I'm doing OK. Bettie and I are surrounded and supported by loving family and friends...and that's just the support we can see...there's more. Thank you all for taking a moment here and there out of your busy lives to catch up on Bettie's latest status here. You have been doing that for these nearly six months and it means an awful lot to know that you are there...really.